Don’t leave your family- blood is thicker than water. Don’t think too much. Don’t be dramatic. Don’t question the people who love you most. Don’t apologize- just do. Don’t dream too big. Remember, bad things happen to everyone. Don’t overthink. Take time, but not too much time. This happened for the better, even if you can’t see it right now. You will get through this- you have to- if not you, then who? Don’t make things harder than they have to be for yourself. Focus on things that make you happy. Don’t keep to yourself- but don’t make the people with the long, white lab coats come. Share your feelings- only to the people who will receive your feelings properly. Don’t cause more trouble for yourself. It may seem like your life is falling apart right now, but it’s not. Focus. Maybe even count. Tap your forehead 3 times, then your cheeks, then your chin, then your shoulders. Relax. Breathe.
Inhala, exhala.
Inhala, exhala.
Remember, don’t trust everyone because some people could think you’re crazy. Put yourself in other people's shoes. Don’t be selfish. Don’t be so negative all the time- but definitely share when you need to. Stop being so dramatic. Don’t eat too much- you need to keep a flattering figure for the men. Don’t forget to do the dishes. Don’t forget to vacuum. Don’t forget to wash the tables. Don’t forget to help out around here. Have fun. Be young. Get over it. Overcome it. Don’t be a smart ass. Don’t you dare talk back. Be respectful. Be appreciative. Think about what you did to have made them say that. Don’t blame others. Don’t obsess. It’s okay to think but don’t speak. Don’t confront the ones who’ve hurt you most- you’ll get nowhere. G-d doesn’t give you what you can’t handle.
the tone of this poem feels eerie because you gaslight yourself through all of it. but the tone changes from the first stanza to the second, with the breathing mantras serving as a catalyst. you sort of go from "toxic positivity" to very obvious gas lighting and i think you explored this in a really cool way.
ReplyDeleteAt first these seems like the kind of things nearly everyone things about sometimes--the ordinary chatter of social conformity, brought to life by Erica's poetic talent. But this detail takes things to a different level: "don’t make the people with the long, white lab coats come." That sounds like someone with a mental illness or disability. Most people do not refer to medical personnel as "people with the long, white lab coats." That a statement seemingly made by someone disassociated with immediate reality.
ReplyDeleteI do not understand why the words exhale and inhale are spelled like this: "Inhala, exhala."
The section after that is more inflected by gender and has more of a feminist connotation. The last line takes it to a spiritual or religious level.
I like it, but I am not totally sure what to make of it. I like how it exposes the scripts people use to enforce social conformity, because only by exposing these scripts for the manipulations that such comments usually amount to will people be able to rise above them. But as a character building exercise this seems incomplete. Since it seems like a character in an institution, I want to know more about who she is. She's only an outline right now.