the rabbi's mouth moves/ i can't make out what he says/ but then/ your name/ sweet, melodious, glittering/ Yocheved/ G-d's glory/ my glory too/ my lips curve upwards/ and i feel thirty pairs of eyes on me/ i'm not allowed to smile anymore/ i forgot/ oh/ i hope i don't forget you/ already your face is foggy/ your voice a breath lost to the wind/ murky memories/ bat Mendel Eliezer the rabbi's voice fills my head/ that's right/ you were also a daughter/ not only mine/ you had a life before me/ i never really cared about it until now/ i'm cursed like cain/ to wander this earth, alone/ and to wonder/ what was your favorite book?/ how old were you when you lost your virginity?/ how will i know when i've found the right guy?/ did you really like my writing?/ you always said you were proud of me, but were you really?/ v' Sarah Channah the rabbi says/ and i hear a ghastly howl follow/ it echoes in my mind as i look towards your mama/ she's not your mama anymore/ she's not my grammy anymore/ she is an ocean of despair and all that it encompasses/ blue eyes replaced by monsoons/ sirens struggle to be free of her grasp/ her anguish is enticing/ is she a siren?/ was that scream her song?/ well, now it is/ you begin to move/ no/ that is not you in there/ that is just flesh/ your fire lives in me/ i can feel it storming inside me/ each breath i take roaring it into existence/ the eyes are on me again/ oh/ i'm screaming/ i really don't want to say goodbye/ to the body that nourished me/ to the hands that held mine/ to the chin and chest you gave me/ i am my grammy's granddaughter/ i am a tempest/ G-d/ now kind eyes stare at mine/ rest in peace shatters me/ the shards that remain fall into a deep sleep/ where i r.i.p.
THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL HOLY SHIT. I love how you took on the ocean vuong form an alternate between three perspectives: a grieving daughter, the rabbi's chilling voice, and the people around you. this poem is very grey but vibrant at the same time. you give death a new kind of life. this poem is stunning
ReplyDeleteI'm nominating this one for workshop for our first class after the break, so you will be hearing much more from me about this soon! I can't wait to discuss it!
ReplyDeleteThis poem really hit home for me and I related to a lot of the emotions within. I admire how you blend religious ideas with your own world and provide a new perspective on so many ideas. Losing someone causes us to ponder everything we didn't get to ask them. This is an emotion so many struggle with as we never ever know the truth, but create a narrative. The questions you ask towards the middle of "is she a siren?/was that scream her song?" left me in awe. These questions flow so well into your writing while questioning a broader idea of unknown things. I also found it cool that you chose the abbreviation r.i.p to give it even more meaning. Showing that resting in peace may not be the outcome unfortunately. This poem showcases the idea that we don't know what we have until it's gone. You left me with so much to think about and I just love this poem. Also as Rina said so well you truly do give death a kind of life here. Fabulous job and I can't wait to hear more about this in class :)
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