i am made of memories

i am made of memories 

when cold hands touch mine,

i remember Mama's frosty arms on September 30th 

when i see my sister cry,

i remember shushing her screams on January 9th 

when i hear someone sneeze,

i remember my Poppy's last breaths on October 17th

when my friends say i bet you...

i remember Dad's pleads to Mama to stay away from Atlantic City on countless dates

when my stomach grumbles,

i remember rinsing my mouth from the taste of vomit on October 31st

when cop cars and ambulances pass me, 

i remember an echo saying deceased on September 30th

when the mirror doesn't show me what i want to see,

i remember Daniel's kisses and squeezes on July 22nd

when the shower gets too warm,

i remember how much i shook when i knew he'd say goodbye on August 15th

moments turn into memories turn into minutes again 

call me bloodhound

put a bounty on emotion

i'm looking for something to hunt

i need more than $1 pills 

and hugs given in half-hearted sentiment 

i'd sniff out 

the pride from making my dad smile

the chills from learning torah

the euphoria from reading that book

the heat from that guy between my legs 

the rightness from choosing the best words in the best order

call me bloodhound

you're a part of the dusk

you're a part of the dusk

where the 

dark

comes from the 

light